The Unsuckled Teat

I spent Saturday with my friend and her son (the nephew).  It was a fun day.  We played a lot, ran errands, ate lunch, got soaked, narrowly averted a tantrum, etc.  I was with them from around 10am til around 4pm.  Yes, I was tired by the end of the day, but I wasn’t frazzled and ready to tear out my hair.

The reason I mention this is because a coworker of mine said “Heh, not used to that, are you?” when I told him what I did on Saturday.  No, but that doesn’t mean I’m not capable.  I didn’t feel fear when my cranky nephew threw himself on the floor in DSW and glared up at me.  Hey, he’s not my kid; why would I be embarrassed?  I think that when people find out I don’t want to have kids, they assume that I’m saying that as a cover for a lack of confidence in my parenting skills.  Nope.  As I have mentioned before, I’m pretty sure I’d be a competent parent but I don’t care to find out.

I have to start out by saying that this reason wasn’t my idea but I still feel it is a good one.

Explaining death.  Especially when the kid is just old enough to understand that something big is happening.  The friend who suggested the reason put it like this:

Imagine your dad died tomorrow and your kid’s like 3 or 4.  You have to explain to the kid that Grandpa isn’t ever coming back while dealing with your grief.  You won’t be able to scream and cry or do any of the stuff you want to because do you really want your kid to see you fall apart?

I did paraphrase a bit, but the meaning is there.