February 23rd, 2009
Money.
Kids are super expensive. Diapers, onesies, bottles, wipes, medicine, doctor visits, formula, baby food, daycare, car insurance, etc ad nauseum. I’m barely solvent as a SINK, I can’t imagine paying for a little poo machine too.
February 19th, 2009
I genuinely hate children.
I can tolerate kids that are just learning to speak, but once they get to that “won’t-ever-shut-the-hell-up-for-five-seconds” stage, I’d probably do something unspeakable.
This post was submitted by Terrified of Tiny Pirates.
February 17th, 2009
Sleep! I wouldn’t be able to function on that little sleep.
This post was submitted by Jamie.
February 9th, 2009
My female cat is driving me bat-shit crazy. She barely gives me time to sit down before she up in my lap, crashing her bony little forehead against whatever part of my body she can reach. She climbs up my chest, she natters on at me. Mew, mrr, brrrpt? Pfft, I don’t speak cat, you annoying little thing. All I want to do is lock her in the bathroom.
Now imagine all that, but worse. “Mommy? Can I have a cookie? Pick me up! I’m booooored. I spilled milk all over. I’m supposed to have 2 dozen cookies for class by tomorrow morning.” If I locked a kid in the bathroom I’d have DHS all over my ass. If I shoved a kid off my lap, or nudged him/her aside with my foot, I’d get horrible comments rained down on my head.
To be perfectly clear, I’m very nice to my cats – even when I want to see if my apartment is big enough to swing a cat in. The point is that I’m not always sticky-sweet, lovey nice to my cats. I have occasionally ignored them, or brandished the squirt bottle at them. I bit Pudge (the female cat) on the foot once, but that was only to stop her from nibbling on my toes.
It isn’t anger that drives this; more like frustration. However, we all know that frustration can quickly blossom into anger and that’s when the bad shit happens.